DR. R. N. ROYCHOWDHURY

Consultant Psychologist Psychotherapist
Yoga Therapist & Expert in Wellness Mgt.
+91 93398 56095 / 96748 21025 ramanathsmailbox@rediffmail.com
Website Website Address: www.corporatewellness.co.in
 
 
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Marriage Counseling
 
Avail from us the extremely reliable and effective services for Marriage Counseling and Relationship/. We offer our Matrimonial counseling services at the market leading charges. We conduct effective Relationship counseling and Pre Marriage Counseling course with the client to try and help resolve the issues. We ensure that our client details remain confidential and under no circumstances these will be revealed.

Our Marriage counseling services include handling and providing solutions for problems like Managing anxiety, improving mood and overcoming depression, Surviving grief and loss, understanding sexual orientation and identity, enhancing self esteem, premarital concerns,

improving relationship with others, ending substance abuse, communication difficulties, dealing with emotional trauma, anger and conflict, online marriage counseling and many more. These sessions empower our client with positive energy and enhanced self esteem.

Our several clients have benefitted by our services, and have appreciated our imparted counseling marriage sessions and counseling services for marriages.

The Benefits of Marriage Counseling

 

Less than 5% of divorcing couples seek marital counseling


According to renowned marriage and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, less than 5% of divorcing couples seek marriage counseling. Why do most couples in trouble fail to get professional help? What are the benefits of couples’ counseling? If you’re experiencing marital difficulties, the information below is intended to encourage you and your partner to consider marriage counseling as a way to gain the perspective and skills needed to improve the quality of your marriage, overcome a relationship crisis and/or save your marriage.


Relationship skills must be learned

Listed below are some of the benefits and other important information about marriage/relationship counseling and how it can help:


1. You need to “earn” your way out of a marriage.

Perhaps you’ve heard the preceding phrase, made popular by television psychologist and author Dr. Phil McGraw. “Don’t consider divorce,” says Dr. Phil, “Until you’ve investigated every potential avenue of rehabilitation. Unless you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you’ve tried everything there is, then you’re not ready to be discussing divorce.” Divorcing couples who never attempt to solve their problems by seeking the help of counseling, are throwing their marriages away without even trying.


2. Seek help early.


According to Dr. Gottman, the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. Keeping in mind the fact that half of all marriages fail in the first seven years, the average couple lives for far too long with unhappiness. Marriage therapists agree that more couples can be helped if they seek help earlier, and if you wait too long to seek marriage counseling, the odds are against you.

3. Why couples don’t go to counseling.

The following are some of the top reasons why couples say they do not go to marriage counseling, with some counter arguments that offer a more positive and healthy perspective :


  • They feel they should be able to “fix” the situation themselves. It’s a fallacy to believe that you should be able to fix everything. Most of us are not naturally equipped with the relationship skills needed to maintain a marriage or solve problems within a marriage. Relationship skills must be learned. The willingness to seek outside help for a problem is actually a sign of strength, your willingness to change and learn, and your commitment to your marriage.

  • They feel it is their partner who has the problem, so why should they go to counseling. First off, rarely is

anyone 100 percent of the blame. If your focus and energy is only on what your spouse has done wrong, then you’re not realistically addressing issues and solutions. Marriage is a team effort and if your partner has a problem, then you have a problem too. You need to be a part of the solution. Playing the blame game does not produce change or lead to solutions. At the very least, a skillful therapist can help you learn better ways to respond to your partner, to help yourself, and perhaps your partner as well.

  • They feel embarrassed to discuss their personal issues with a “stranger.” This may be true at the very beginning of counseling, but a skillful therapist can usually encourage a feeling of warmth, trust and security fairly quickly.

  • They feel that marriage counseling is expensive. Yes, there is no question that taking positive and determined action to address relationship problems requires families to spend money, but failing to take action often costs significantly more later when you consider the cost of divorce, maintaining two households, the emotional costs for any children involved and other ways divorce affects everyone’s lives.


4. How can marriage counseling help?

Marriage counseling is generally provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus – a couple’s relationship.

Marriage counseling affords you and your spouse numerous ways to bring about change that you would not normally know how to accomplish on your own. It provides a safe and supportive environment for you to identify and communicate the issues, feelings and behaviors that are bothering you, to facilitate understanding and positive change. A qualified marriage and family therapist can provide instruction, coaching and feedback to help you develop new skills to improve your marriage, including:

  • Learning ways to communicate better
  • Learning how to argue in a healthier way
  • Learning how to resolve conflict and problem solve in a productive manner
  • Learning appropriate expression, disclosure and resolution of painful emotions
  • Learning how to state your needs clearly and openly within your relationship
  • Learning how to work through unresolved issues
  • Learning how to negotiate for change within your relationship

5. Marriage counseling is hard work.

For marriage counseling to be effective, you must approach counseling with a realistic attitude. Don’t expect a quick fix, or that the counselor will be doing all of the work. Marriage counseling is hard work for the participants. The process of unlearning bad habits and learning new, more effective habits is often intense, frustrating and exhausting. Expect the process to be difficult and take time, but that it can be worth the effort.

6. How did I contribute to this problem?

The reason to participate in counseling is to learn how to change. You must be willing to change to make counseling work. A sure sign of your willingness is asking yourself, “How did I contribute to this problem?” Simply put, you got yourself into this mess and now it’s up to you to change it. Taking responsibility for your share of your marital problems is the first step toward finding effective solutions. Don’t expect to change your partner. No one has the power to change another person. Instead, focus on learning what you contribute to your marital problems and changing your own attitude, behavior and skills.


7. What if your partner refuses to go to counseling?

If your partner is reluctant to go to couples' counseling, share this article with them. Emphasize that the purpose of counseling is not to “rake them through the coals” in a blame session, but to utilize the help of a trained professional counselor to help you as a couple find solutions to your marital difficulties. If your partner still refuses to go to marriage counseling, go alone. While not ideal, you can still learn tools and new approaches to improve your marriage. Even better, when you begin to approach your partner differently and handle relationship problems differently, your partner may begin to see the benefit of relationship counseling and agree to participate with you. Whether or not your partner agrees to participate, by choosing marriage counseling, you are saying that your marriage is important and worth fighting for.

 

FAQ :

 

Q. What is counselling?

 

Counselling is the opportunity to discuss your thoughts and feelings about any issue that you face in every-day life that you may wish to explore and understand better, in a professional and confidential setting, with a qualified and competent counsellor, over a period of time. It is a collaborative process in which you as the expert in your life, gain greater awareness and find your own answers.

 

Q. Will the information I share be kept as a secret?

 

Yes. All information that you share will be kept confidential. This is an extremely important ethical guideline for a counsellor where no information can be disclosed to another person without your consent. Therefore you can be confident that what you share will be kept as a secret. Every counsellor at TalkItOver is ethically bound to maintain confidentiality except in situations where there is risk of self-harm, harm to others or child abuse.

 

Q. What are the next steps after booking an appointment?

 

After booking an appointment, you will receive a confirmation email and sms. The confirmation email will provide the address, route map and contact details of your counsellor. You can then visit your counsellor for a face to face counselling session and pay the remaining fees directly. At the end of the session, your counsellor and you can decide on future sessions and all transactions will be made directly with your counsellor after the first session.

 

 

Q. What happens if the counsellor gets affected by what I share?

 

Counsellors are trained to feel with the client and not feel for the client. A counsellor who may get affected by what the client is sharing may need to work through his/her own issues with his/her personal counsellor. Professionally trained counsellors learn the skills and coping mechanisms to be objective and empathetic with clients and not sympathetic and emotionally involved.

Q. Does the religion of the counsellor matter?

The counsellor works with an open, neutral and non-judgemental attitude working to understand the person from their socio-cultural context and religious background. As part of their training, counsellors have been exposed to various religions and worldviews, so as to be relevant and understand clients from their own religion and worldview. Counsellors are ethically bound to not enforce their personal religious beliefs to clients.

 

 

Q. What if I become dependent on the counsellor for everything?

 

Since counselling does not mean advising, counsellor dependence may be unlikely. Infact the counselling relationship will help you to help yourself, therefore enabling you to become more true to yourself, more accepting of yourself and more self reliant.

Q. How long is the process of counselling?

 

Counselling is a continuous process, based on your needs and goals. Typically it could last anywhere between 4-20 sessions. Counsellors and clients decide together about the time of appointment and the no. of sessions. Usually they are 1 hour sessions, on a weekly basis.

 

Q. Counselling seems like a western approach, how will it work in India?

 

Counselling is neither western or eastern. It is beyond culture and religion. Counselling, by definition, works with the individual’s own culture and background and the basic principles of counselling are universal therefore can be applied to people from all cultures.

 

Q. When I meet a counsellor, where do I start?

 

You may be wondering where to start, but the good news is that the counsellor usually starts talking first. The counsellor may start by introducing him/herself, making you feel comfortable and explaining how it works, clarifying any questions you may have and generally make you feel accepted, comfortable and understood. You could start sharing whenever you are ready.

 

Q. How will the counsellor know my context?

 

The counsellor will get to know your context by understanding you family background, cultural background, religious background, beliefs and worldview. This will be a continuous process where the counsellor will continue to understand your point of view, from your worldview and help you accordingly.

 

 

Q. What is the counsellor’s role?

 

The counsellor’s role is to create a warm and accepting relationship where you will feel comfortable to talk about anything you wish you. Based on what you share, the counsellor will attempt understanding your life and facilitate self exploration, insight and awareness, helping you reach your goals.

 

Q. What are the myths associated with counselling?

 

There are several myths. The most popular ones are these:

  • Counsellors provide advice and specific solutions to your problems.
  • Old people with little or no qualification are better counsellors than younger people with    qualification
  • Life experience in a counsellor is more important than professional training in counselling    skills
  • Counsellors use their opinion, intuition and beliefs to help clients
  • Counselling is an art and not a science
  • Counsellors are perfect and they don’t need counselling themselves
  • Counsellors primarily work with career guidance and addiction
  • Anybody with a passion and interest in counselling is called a counsellor

 



 
 
 
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